Well, time is short & so is Shaun Wright-Phillips.  So let’s blow through this week like a good tax accountant through a Form 1040-EZ!  Does anyone remember what it was like for people with so few tax items that they could file their incredibly simple income tax returns over the phone?  Recall how happy they were to file in less than 3 minutes via touch tone land line phones back in those simpler days?  I never had the heart to tell them that it meant that they made little money, weren’t getting any interest on their bank accounts, or both. 

Can you tell I’m getting punchy this time of year?  When is Easter, I do get a day off for that…Moving on to Gameweek 31.

As usual; our “Fantasy Zolo” league code is 694916-134116 to join our private league.  Select “Leagues” under your Fantasy Menu and then enter the code and you are good to go.

Thoughts on last week

After a week off, we have 2 Internationals &/or friendlies under the world’s collective belt.  To quote Gary Lineker,”So, what have we learned?”  We have learned that “IT”, Sven-Goran Erickson does much better work on Special 1 TV than he does in the surprisingly tough CONCACAF region.  The secretarial pool is safe in Mexico again. 

We learned that Jozy Altidore is not just hype, should be playing in England; not in the Spanish La Liga second division, and that the “Special One” is a genius for having purchased a Jozy jersey BEFORE he scored only the 3^rd USA hattrick in the last 75 years for the National Team. 

We learned that International matches can destroy your Fantasy Team when it comes to injuries. 

Finally, we learned that Scotland nationals Barry Ferguson & Allan McGregor would fit in well as SoB’s after flashing a “V” for victory to the cameras while on the bench, suspended after a reported 12 hour drinking session after a match.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E1nXqUnx9c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr17yCM0MFU

 (Sven says this TV presenter has…uh,…well uh,…very nice eyes! That’s it!)

The “Special One” salutes them for their efforts…with only one finger (while scratching my nose).  Love to see these lads playing in Philly since they are talented & now that their national teams careers are over, the first pint is on me.

This week (Gameweek 31)

It’s a full slate this week but does that matter when no one is healthy?  Try to manage your walking wounded side through some good match ups.  I really like Chelsea travelling to Newcastle to do well in an overhyped game.  Of course, I always like whoever is playing West Brom & Stoke City has the chance this week to fight their way out of relegation in this match.  I also like Arsenal players hosting a ManCity side with a horrible road form to go with all of their injuries.  Now the toughest problem is finding who is still left to play, so let’s take a stab at that.

Players to watch:

Players that seem to still be able to walk after WCQ matches.

• Pepe Reina:  I usually stay away from goalkeepers but the Liverpool keeper is on great form & if you are looking for a change from Van der Sar or Schwarzer, this may be your man.  They have a nice stretch of game ahead of them. 
• Peter Crouch:  Not my favorite, but the big stiff was one of the few English strikers to be able to walk off the pitch after the last 7 days.  My joke about Shaun Wright-Phillips aside, you can’t teach height & his Pompey side have an important relegation battle ahead. 
• Ryan Shawcross:  Stoke City defender has quite a bandwagon behind him now after his last performance.  He is truly worth a gamble at 4.2£m  and remember that the “Special One” single handedly started the Leighton Baines bandwagon a few weeks back and look how that turned out. Very Nice!
• Arsenal’s strikers:  Easy answer considering the opponent, ManCity.  But the tough question is who will actually play.  It could be Arshavin & Eduardo up front for the Gunners but I don’t even think “the Voyeur” Wenger knows who will start up until game time.  This will be for the true gamblers. 

Players to drop/sit:

I think that would be “all the injured premiership footballers” which include:

·        Berbatov & Rooney:  A double knockout for ManU.  Maybe those new England “cricket” kits are the cause of Rooney’s injury. 

·        Robin Van Persie:  The Flying Dutchman has been shot down by his hamstring again.  Yes.  You knew I would go there.  Very Nice. 

·        Bellamy & Robinho:  Another Manchester double shot of injures strikers but this time for the sky blues (a color I love, BTW) of Citeh.  Maybe avoid City entirely this week. Most people do anyway.

·        Carlton Cole:  Just when the “on fire” England striker was to return from a stupid red card, he goes down with an injury.  He was wearing one of those goofy new England kits when he went down.  Hmmn.  Conspiracy? You never know…maybe Big Boss Abramovich was involved?  .

My Moves:

My team is SoBphillyHarchester*. You can search for my team and take a look at it, I don’t mind, and see if you can find some ideas that may help your club.

• Two changes this week against my better angels.  I grew frustrated with Rooney’s petulant antics against Fulham leading him to be sent off. (His girl is expecting  & he’ll be a great father because “the Boy”  will be able to relate to his children on a tantrum level)  I immediately dropped him in favor of the very in form Arshavin.  Arshavin?  Very smooth move. 
• The “Special One” then got greedy and sold off West Ham’s DiMichele right after Gameweek 30 ended to pick up West Ham’s returning Carlton Cole.  Of course, I did this way before he got injured in a 14 day period while playing for England.  This may appear to be a mistake to the uninitiated but the “Special One” purposely made this stupid, impetuous move to show you what NOT to do.  Remember, I am always thinking of you, being humble, & remember…I’m Fantastic. 
• So with all these injuries, some juggling is needed, so as requested, my starting XI is Cech, Lescott Hangeland Jagielka Clichy, Gerrard Parker Taylor Lampard(C), Beattie Arshavin

Next week:

Next week?  Is it Easter yet?  When will the next day off from work be?  When will the interrogatives end?  Thanks for reading…Be good.